Saturday, February 25, 2006

This gives you a pretty good idea of my tastes, I hope

Music: Frank Sinatra- Around the World

Ok, bigger post later, but this was to amazing. Check out the three things Amazon recommended based on my wish list:

Moral Man and Immoral Society: A Study of Ethics and Politics (Library of Theological Ethics) by Reinhold Niebur

Clarrisa Explains It All-Season One

At Folsom Prison- Johnny Cash

Monday, February 20, 2006

In Which I Try to Solve My Problems, And Probably Fail

Music: Neil Diamond- Hell Yeah

Alright, so here's the thing: I was truthfully happy this weekend. From start to finish. I went for a run at the gym on Friday, and let me tell you- that endorphins thing ain't no joke. I felt so good after running for about twenty minutes. I've really, really got to do that more often. Like, seriously. OK, then I went to Porter House. For those not in the know, it's a house off campus in which five, maybe six (?) students share rent and live. It's a party place on weekends, and everyone who's anyone be being there.
Ok, onto the drama, I was having a fun night just dancing and laughing with friends (I'm confident these people like me- how crazy is that? Yeah for beating paranoia/low self esteem kind of). Then I went out to the back porch to see what was up. The infamous Jeff Lambert was out there holding court with two girls. They all seemed pretty drunk. They were discussing Doystoevsky and Joyce. I thought to myself, "I should get in on this." So I did my best. We were discussing how Joyce really didn't want to be understood and such. Having a comprehensible discussion wasn't really an option, since these folk were, as previously mentioned, drunk. At one point, one of the girls said to me, "I'm seeing four of you right now", and then promptley fell on me. She got up and left, as did Mr. Lambert. The other girl and I were talking. I thought to myself, "I could hook up with this girl." I didn't think it in a creepy "Oh I'm gonna take advantage of her" way, I was just reflecting on what I would like. Again, not creepily. It was a passing thought. I love how I am justifying this to no one, since no one reads this. Anywho, we both got up, and she just sort of falls onto my lips. That's right. I was involved in a drunken hook-up. So yeah, it was nice I guess. Then, like 5 min later, her friends (you know, the we-go-to-the-party-together-we-leave-together types) just grab her, tell her "We're leaving" without once even looking at me, Mr. Trobule Man. I can understand their worry, but I really wasn't going to do anything. So I sent her facebook message making sure she was alright and a friend request, which she approved (duh). She didn't respond to the message, though. So I guess that's that. Too bad, she seemed like the person I would like (i.e the type that drunkely discuss literature). Oh well.
Then Saturday, I went to the AU "Phil Bender" event. Yelled my lungs out, good times.

Man, this thing is turning more and more into a journal than I ever expected. Gotta put my thoughts out somewhere, I guess.

Anyways, onto the present. It's Monday nite, work is back and again I feel depressed/lazy. On the weekend, I even did some studying(!). I don't know how I've survived college with so little studying that I do. It's disgraceful, really. I'm slowly getting better, but it's frustrating. Why does it come so easily to others? Sigh. It's a frustrating thought, one not probably worth getting into. There's no real point in that, I guess.
Question: Do I not do work because I'm unhappy, or am I unhappy because I don't do work? The latter, I think.
See, here's the weird thing about me- I'm usually pretty happy (I think) until I start thinking about shit. See, here's how I view a day:

You've got to do: A,B,C,D,E,F..... When done, your day should be done and you can relax.

These activities usually fall along the lines of class, socialization, eating, studying, anything else (i.e going to CVS or appointments). Those, by the way, are in no particular order. Now here's the rub- I NEVER seem able to finish all of these! Usually, it's studying that is lost. In fact, I'd say that that is it 80% of the time. But sometimes it's socializing as well, and even eating. Often, I'll just be sitting here at my computer late at night and THEN remember what I've got to do. Like, right now I just borrowed from Sarah Sobeki the text book from which I need to read a chapter tonight! So I guess these problems will remain unresolved. It's a shame, because I really think I get going with this. I just know it. I have to.

Also, I went to the Career Center today about interships. Got lots to talk over with Eema and Abba.

Man, this thing is totally a journal now.

Friday, February 17, 2006

I'd Have Great Stories

Music- Robert Plant and the Strange Sensation: Let the Four Winds Blow

Man, maybe I should just be a trucker for a couple years. I'm dead serious. Get to see this great country, and listen to whatever music I want to. That would be awesome. And then I'd have something to write about. Someone once told me that before you write, do something. Then you'll have something to write about.

Alright, let's look at the goods things that happened today. I'm slowly falling in love with myTunes (especially after the head of Housing and Dining recommended it to me). I've got quite a few CDs off it, some not even available on iTunes, like Tupac. Also, I played some wiffle ball with Riley, James and this guy named Mike. It was fun. The weather was perfect for it. Didn't even need a coat today. Also, I wanted to do something with Dave, but nothing really panned out. I had dinner with him and some other people. Oh! Also, today, I saw Kaitlyn. Gotta make my move sometime, I just need the time and place to do it! Maybe Chloe (her roommate) can help me. Hmmm. Ponder ponder. Finally, the day ended with a three hour session with AUSFI (AU Students for Israel). I have to say, I didn't mind it. I enjoy the people, some of the girls are cute (although I'm not gonna flirt with 'em, just saying that a little eye candy never hurt nobody), I like the cause, and it makes me feel like I'm doing something/gaining experiance. Those last two are important, because I'm so nervous about the future. Can I muster up enough ambition? Hell, I'd better be able to.

Man, I really hope so. That I think is proving to be my main challenge in life. If I can stay focused, I can do anything. Even trucking.

Thursday, February 16, 2006

Am I Losing My Mind?

Music- Crosby, Still, Nash & Young- Almost Cut My Hair

Alright, am I losing my mind? Now, I don't mean that I'm slipping into craziness or seeing pink elephants (presented by Anthony J. Hilder). No, what I'm talking about is...well, let me just tell you what happened.
So I'm checking out Facebook, right? And it turns out its the birthday of my high school friend Ari Giller. He's in Israel right now, doing a year there at I think Bar Ilan. I might be wrong on that. Anyways, in his "About Me" section, he says:
Going to Israel after high school has probably been one of my smartest decisions (along with voting for Kerry)

There's also a link to his myspace. Ok, it seems to me he is having a pretty good time in Israel. A really good time.
Which leads me to...
Am I wasting my life here? Christ, I know I'm only 19, but isn't that when I'm supposed to be out exploring the world and making opportunities for myself? I mean, I'm having a good time here at American, I guess. I like everybody. But am I learning all that could be? Am I experiancing all that I should be? Fuck, maybe I'm too goddamn blinded by Jack Kerouac and all that On the Road stuff- is life really like that? Could I live a life like that? Should I live a life like that? Sometimes, I really enjoy it here. On occasions like this, though, I feel trapped in a cage. But if I broke out of the cage, what would I do? Get trapped by my laziness or boredom?

Christ, do I sound emo. Just look at all that. And I don't even like emo!But I wonder- should just drop out and get a job? It would be so shocking, so rough. It would change my whole life. In the course of one sentence, I have made up my mind on that- the answer is no.

Ok ok lets just try to sum this up:
I don't feel like I'm doing anything with my life. This makes me worried. Should I be worried? What can I do to make myself fulfilled? Is man ever fulfilled?
And to think, this was all started by a couple lines on Facebook. That is why I think I'm losing my mind.

Wednesday, February 08, 2006




Yowzas! A Contest!

Who says yowzas anymore? That's right, I do. Alright. So, I've been inspired by the good (although a bit too all-or-nothing and a bit too left-leaning) folks at dailykos have come up with a great idea: for money, you (yes! YOU!) can get to tell a blogger what to give a rant about, and which side he should take (you can see more about it here, just scroll down a tad bit). So I've decided to do the same thing. Except without the money, although I will accept things that are just like money. But you don't have to do that.
So basically, you will tell me what to post/rant about and the opinion I should have going into it. Nothing to complex and nothing math related. And of course I won't do it if it's increadibly offensive or racist or blah blah....

OK then! What do you have to do! Well, just leave a comment with the correct answers to these questions!

1) Which word has the most definitions in the dictionary?
2) Which blues great is said to have sold his soul to the devil for his guitar prowess?
3) What would you like the topic of your rant to be?

Now, here's one important thing you should know before going off to find the answers to these questions- you don't actually have to. Seriously. Just leave a post saying what you want your rant to be about, and I'll do it. It could be about anything! Uganda, NSA wiretapping, the Designated Hitter rule, this guy, you name it! And name which side you want me to take! Huzzah!

Friday, February 03, 2006

Almost forgot!

I also played Scrabble with Holly Polish, Jeff Lambert and others. Tons o' fun.

Day's Description

Well, it's pretty late, but I promised I would post today, so here I am. Today was a good day, overall. Here's the rundown.

Awaken at 8:35 (I woke this early to do homework), go back to sleep until 10:00. Class started at 9:55. The dilema: I knew if I went to class, I wouldn't have time to shower before my next class started (9:55:11:10, 11:20-12:30). There's this girl I like in Math, and I can't be going all stinky can I? So I skipped class (hey, I get two frees, so it's all good. Right? Right?). Turns out she wasn't there! She a bit under the weather. We got in contact through teh facebook though, so it's all good. We've got (dare I say?) tentetive plans for the weekend!! Huzzah! She seems really cool. A heck of a lot cooler than Mandy, or Laura (who, to be fair, is cool in her own way). But she seems really legit. We'll see how things go.
So I listened to music today as well. Shocker. Mainly hip-hop, some Black Star. Really good stuff.
I then saw Bob Woodward speak! God, what a legend. Hell, what a man. I asked a question, but go so nervous that I messed it up (confused 'raise' with 'rate'). Oh well. He spoke really well. One thing that stood out: "What do Presidents need, more than anything? Courage." Gotta remember that one.
After Bob Woodward, I went (with Sonia and Justin) to the hypnotist show on campus. Now, if you know me like I know me, that might not have been the best idea. But I drumed it out of my head long enough to go (partially) under. It was cool. I enjoyed, and would recommend it to all.

If you've looked at my previous posts, you'll notice that there are a lot less (like 0) hyperlinks in this post, as well as the last one. Of course, no one reads this. But still, humor me! I'm tired. There will be more links soon, I promise. I'm glad I posted this. Johnny Cash is so amazing.

Wednesday, February 01, 2006

Holy C r a p It's a new semester And Even more amazingly, I'm posting

Music: Boogie Down Productions- I'm Still #1

Wow. I'm posting again. Holy shit. I always liked the idea of blogging, but I can never get behind it fully. I feel like that happens with a lot of ideas I've had. Some of them inculde: building a transitior radio, learning karate, and building a treehouse. You'll notice I'm not putting guitar playing in there, because I still hold out hope that eventually I will learn how to play it. Classes this semester seem really good, especially Education for International Development. Professor Tesconi has given at least one 'life-changing-this-is-why-I-go-to-college" lecture so far, and I can't wait for the next class. I'm even reading the stuff for the class.

So onto other things. I went to the open meetings for Pi Kappa Phi, a frat on campus. It seemed alright, not really my style. Too much random drinking, and it's not even a party-heavy frat. So yeah. It's not that I'm straight edge. I just don't like the taste of beer. Like, at all. It doesn't taste very good. So there. Man, I'm so edgy.